I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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