I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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