I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
