OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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