is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize