She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
