Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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