a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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