i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
dude. I can hear the air.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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