i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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