Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
