party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
