i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
