You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
