I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
