Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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