She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
