so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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