She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
