Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
