Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
