Only a mothe r could love this liver
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
