Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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