I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
