I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
