so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
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I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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