i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
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ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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