matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
