we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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