be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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