so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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