Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
