Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Come see our sink grown plant.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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