I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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