Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
