My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
