I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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