yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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