Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
