omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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