He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
