So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize