he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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