Whod you bang
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
