I have demons in me.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
