It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
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Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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