So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
