just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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