We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
