Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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