you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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