It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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