Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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