worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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