just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
