Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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