last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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