Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You left your underwear on the fireplace
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
