I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
