I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
