You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
