Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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