so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
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