i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
