So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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